Ode to a lunch

Slowly pulled from the frigged shelf,
I turn you over in my hands.
So cold is your box as I read,
trying to make sense of your destiny.

Do I peel away the plastic wrapped cover,
or do I simply punch a hole.
How long shall I cook you,
The box says two to three minutes.

How vague.

Slices of frozen zucchini,
you have black charred lines.
It makes me think,
think of the machine that makes those marks.

Delicious brown goo,
what shall you be?
Be you fluffy microwaved chew toy brownie,
Or oddly hot pudding?

Oh frozen tray of lunch,
I await your soggy bounty.
One chicken nugget like molten lava,
The next like an iceberg.

Thank you frozen tray of lunch,
you fed me well.
But tomorrow I regret,
I think I am having Ramen.

Im scared!

WOO HOO!

Shannon is coming home today! Yeah, I am the only one who cares, but I was bored and couldn't think of anything to write. Maybe later.

I HATE YOUR KIDS!!!

Ok, keeping with the previous post's theme, we are going to look at another blogging mystery. Why do people make blogs dedicated to their kids? Nobody cares. Honestly. I have 4 kids of my own, and I have no interest in your kids. You are the only people in the world that care. And for the record, that guy Steve that you work with, he doesn't care either and is considering stabbing you in the eye with the butt end of a stapler the next time you come to tell him about that cute thing that Timmy did over the weekend at the petting zoo. And he very honestly does not care enough to need regular updates posted on the internet like some kind of weird Truman Show experiment.

Yeah yeah, I get it. You want your family to be able to see your kid. Send the occasional email with a picture of the kid. Go visit them. Send them a video. Whatever you do, nobody cares enough about your kid to care about daily updates on how your kid spilled his cereal this morning, or you dressed him up in some horrible outfit because you think your kid is a personal doll for you to play dress up with. You are doomed to driving an SUV with a damn soccer ball sticker on the back window that says Kyle bellow it, because you believe the rest of the world cares what extracurricular activities your kid is involved in, and they don't. Well, nobody other than child predators and you put a damn tracking tag on your car for them. Good job mom!

In short, I hate your children, so do most other people who are too polite to say so. So just keep going around showing everyone in your office pictures of your kids, and I can only hope eventually they attempt to beat you into submission with that custom photo printed coffee mug you had made with a picture of your kid wearing a bowl of spaghetti as a hat.

Lookin at Blogs

Maybe this will be a regular feature on the blog, maybe not, we will just have to see what happens. Anyway, today I am looking at blogs. Yes, a blog about... blogs. Or at least a blog post about blogs.

I decided to take look around the blogging community (of which I consider myself an outsider being I never can seem to keep one going) and see just what is out there. I was shocked. And we are not talking nudity and profanity shocked here, as far as blogs go, there could be more nudity but I think we have a decent amount so far. No, I was shocked at the number of blogs out there dedicated to one singular thing. Knitting. Yes, knitting. Anyone who has ever sifted through random blogs out there has come across a multitude of knitting blogs.

What is it that attracts knitters to blogging like this? I understand, and respect there are people out there who enjoy knitting, but what I don't get is just how many of them are on the internet showing and discussing their knitting in blogs. I always considered knitting to be something people sat and did to pass the time. Not something that required large amounts of discussion, but I was wrong... I think. It has been made clear to me that soon, the world of blogging will soon be overwhelmed with colorful yarn, large dangerous knitting needles and angry fanatical words from those who love them. I can only hope not to get caught in the crossfire when the Great Knitting Wars begin.

As I said, there is nothing wrong with knitting. You wanna knit, fine. Go ahead and knit. But really, how much can there be to talk about that it requires a blog dedicated exclusively to knitting? I hope to find out these, and many more answers as I delve deeper into the world of blogging during my 12 part expose on yarn bloggers. Wish me luck!

Oh, and I hate blogs about people's kids.

Ahhhh...

Yet another blog that I am sure to abandon. Take that internets!

So far not much to post, but then again, nobody is reading, so it really doesn't matter. The point is that it is 8 am, I am out of cigarettes, and as the only car I have that can carry me and all the kids is currently out of commission, I am off to a great start. Let's go see what we find in the news, and see if we can't get this blog rolling!