I HATE YOUR KIDS!!!

Ok, keeping with the previous post's theme, we are going to look at another blogging mystery. Why do people make blogs dedicated to their kids? Nobody cares. Honestly. I have 4 kids of my own, and I have no interest in your kids. You are the only people in the world that care. And for the record, that guy Steve that you work with, he doesn't care either and is considering stabbing you in the eye with the butt end of a stapler the next time you come to tell him about that cute thing that Timmy did over the weekend at the petting zoo. And he very honestly does not care enough to need regular updates posted on the internet like some kind of weird Truman Show experiment.

Yeah yeah, I get it. You want your family to be able to see your kid. Send the occasional email with a picture of the kid. Go visit them. Send them a video. Whatever you do, nobody cares enough about your kid to care about daily updates on how your kid spilled his cereal this morning, or you dressed him up in some horrible outfit because you think your kid is a personal doll for you to play dress up with. You are doomed to driving an SUV with a damn soccer ball sticker on the back window that says Kyle bellow it, because you believe the rest of the world cares what extracurricular activities your kid is involved in, and they don't. Well, nobody other than child predators and you put a damn tracking tag on your car for them. Good job mom!

In short, I hate your children, so do most other people who are too polite to say so. So just keep going around showing everyone in your office pictures of your kids, and I can only hope eventually they attempt to beat you into submission with that custom photo printed coffee mug you had made with a picture of your kid wearing a bowl of spaghetti as a hat.